


Anywhere in Time

by angelsfalling16



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-19 20:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: Dean is accidentally sent back in time to 1901, where he meets a woman who seems strangely familiar. He and the woman have to find a way to get him back to his time. In the present time, Cas is running from an angel, and he has to find a way to defeat so that he is still alive when Dean returns.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this Tumblr post: https://cas-fell-for-dean.tumblr.com/post/181145392699/episode-where-dean-gets-thrown-back-in-time-by

Cas doesn’t mean to send Dean back in time. He only means to send him to the safe house that he secured for him and Sam so that they will be out of harm’s way. But he gets distracted, and when he goes to send Dean away, his mind is on the day that he first met him. Not that day in the warehouse when Dean stabbed him. No, Cas met Dean long before that, long before Dean was even born.

Cas’ mind always goes back to that day when he thinks that he is nearing the end of the line for himself. When he thinks that this is the time that he will die and not be brought back to life. Cas is running from an angel, but the Winchesters don’t know that. If Dean knew, he would insist on helping, and Cas can’t let him do that.

This isn’t just any angel. He knows the truth about Cas and Dean, about how they met and what happened between them. The angel is after Dean, too. He managed to find out how Cas feels about him and is set on going after Dean to get to Cas. He came after Cas first, but Cas managed to escape in order to warn Sam and Dean. He wants to get them to safety. He wants to make sure that Dean is safe.

Cas has decided to face the angel on his own, and he will turn himself over to the angel if he has to. He doesn’t know if it will work. The angel might still go after Dean, but he has to at least try.

Cas hates everything about this. He hates leaving Dean, and he hates knowing that he might die before Dean finds out the truth. Every time they face a new “big bad,” he always worries that he will die before Dean learns what he already knows. If Dean doesn’t figure it out soon, Cas might die before he does, and then they both will have lived with this knowledge without being able to do anything about it.

Right now, Cas just wants to get Dean and his brother to safety so that he can go after the angel, but when he goes to transport Dean, it all goes wrong. Cas is already having a hard time concentrating, and then something that Dean says triggers the memory of that day. As he reaches out to Dean, he is thinking about how much he just wants Dean to know so that they can talk about it. Instead of thinking about the safe house when he goes to send Dean away, he is thinking about that day. The day when a green-eyed man in odd clothing appeared – quite suddenly – in his life.

Cas doesn’t know if this is how Dean is supposed to get sent back in time to meet him, but it has to be, right? This is the moment when Cas accidentally sends Dean back in time so that he can meet Cas’ past self. The moment when Dean experiences what Cas did all those years. Cas only hopes that he will still be here when Dean returns.

***

Sam and Dean are sitting at a table in the library of the bunker, talking about a possible case when Cas appears. They caught wind of a possible ghost attack about an hour away. Sam is researching all of the people who have died there recently. Dean is pretending to help while he is really just waiting for Sam to figure it out so that they can go after it. Research has never really been his thing.

“So, get this,” Sam is saying when Cas suddenly materializes, touches Sam’s arm without saying a word, and they both disappear.

Dean almost doesn’t notice at first, too busy trying to find out how far he can tilt his chair back before it tips over. Cas reappears, and Dean slams the chair back down on the ground so hard that he is pretty sure he hears one of the legs crack. Cas moves toward Dean to presumable take him wherever he just took Sam, but Dean isn’t having any of it.

“What the hell, Cas?” Dean asks, standing up and nearly knocking over his chair.

“It’s okay, Dean. Your brother is safe,” Cas says, answering Dean’s second question before he can even ask it.

“Where did you take him?”

“A safe house. I am going to send you there, too.”

“What? Why?” Dean takes a step back, not in fear, but just to delay him.

“Something is coming, and I have to get you both to safety.” He moves slowly closer to him, placing his hand on Dean’s arm. “You’ll be okay, Dean.”

“What about you?” Cas shakes his head at him. “What are doing, Cas?” Dean asks, worried now. Cas is acting strange.

“We can talk when we get there. Right now, I just need to get you out of here.”

“Cas, wait.”

His face changes slightly at Dean’s words. His frown deepens, and his eyes widen.

Dean hears a flap of wings, and he can feel himself moving. He must lose consciousness for a moment because he comes to on the ground, and Cas is nowhere in sight.

“Mister are you alright?” A female voice says above Dean.

Dean slowly opens his eyes, his head pounding. Standing above him is a woman in a dress, covered by a long, green coat. A matching green hat covers most of her dark hair. Her eyes are a bright blue color as they stare down at him.

“Where am I?” Dean groans, sitting up. “Sam?”

He looks around, but there is no sign of Sam or any kind of safe house. He appears to be in the middle of a clearing in the woods.

“Where am I?” He asks the woman again.

“Orono, Maine. The year 1901,” she specifies, but Dean is too disoriented to notice how odd that should be.

“1901? How did I get here?”

“You just appeared.”

“Shouldn’t you be freaking out right now?” Dean asks, pushing himself to his feet.

“Would that help anything?” She asks, tilting her head in a way that seems familiar to Dean, but he doesn’t quite know why. He is still disoriented from the flight. He looks around again, but Cas isn’t here.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Dean says, his eyes coming to a rest on the woman.

“Where did you come from?” The woman asks.

“The—.” He stops himself from saying the future. That would definitely cause the woman to start freaking out or at least to think that he is crazy. “From far away.”

“By the looks of your clothes, very far away.” Her eyes look him up and down slowly, but it isn’t the way that he is used to women looking at him. She isn’t admiring his body; she is simply observing.

“Yeah, and I have to find a way to get back.”

“I will help you.”

“I really don’t think you will be able to.”

“And why ever not?”

The woman seems insistent, and perhaps the only way to get her off his back is by telling the her the truth. Than, maybe she’ll think he’s crazy and leave him alone.

“Because I’m from the future.”

“The future?” The woman asks, surprised.

Her eyebrows pull together as she stares at him in confusion. Dean stares back at her, getting lost in her blue eyes that feel so familiar. His eyes drift to her dark hair that is pulled up and mostly hidden but is a beautiful shade of brown, and it looks so soft that he can’t stop imagining her taking it down and letting him run his fingers through it. His gaze drifts down to the way her coat fits around her, showing off the soft curves of her hips and hiding the length of her legs. She stands at his height, the heels of her shoes giving her a couple of extra inches. He drags his eyes back up to her face, and they settle on her soft, pink lips, and he imagines kissing them.

Dean shakes himself and forces his eyes back up to meet hers. He’s met plenty of beautiful women on the road during his life but none quite like her. He doesn’t know why he feels so attracted to her, and it isn’t just her looks. He feels drawn to her in a way that is seemingly unfamiliar but also so familiar. It’s distracting, and he can’t keep his mind on the task at hand.

Finally, Dean turns away from her, tugging at his hair and wracking his brain for an idea. He is still hoping that Cas will show up and retrieve him, but he knows that that is not his luck. He is stuck here unless he finds a way back. He just doesn’t understand why Cas sent him back in time. Usually when an angel sends him through time, it is to teach him some kind of lesson, but this time, Cas had said that he was sending him and Sam to a safe house. So, what happened?

Dean thinks a little bit more and remembers his grandfather, Henry Winchester, and how he travelled through time. He used a spell and was able to travel to the future to his blood relatives. Maybe Dean could do that, but he doesn’t know how to get any of the ingredients that he would need for that. Maybe if he had an angel…but no. Cas said that angels rarely came to Earth before he and Sam started the apocalypse, so it is unlikely that he would be able to find one.

He turns back around, and the woman is watching him with an intensity that sends shivers down his spine. Dean ignores the feeling that her gaze gives him and wonders why she hasn’t turned and run or told him that he’s crazy.

“How can I help?” She asks.

“You can’t.”

“Why not?” She asks, sounding offended.

Dean doesn’t have time for this. Why won’t the woman just leave him alone so that he can figure out a way back?

“Because there is a way back, but it won’t work unless I can find someone who _can_ help. I don’t have time to explain everything to you right now.”

“If there is a way, let me help you. I might be able to help you more than you think.”

“No offense, but I highly doubt that.”

The woman glares at him until he finally gives in with a sigh. He figures that it will be easier to tell her the truth and let her see for herself that she can’t help than it would be to argue with her. He’s just wasting time right now. He isn’t sure what is going on with Cas, but he didn’t seem like himself when he showed up in the bunker. There was definitely something troubling him, and Dean needs to get back to him so that he can help.

 “There’s a spell that can send me through time,” he tells her. “It can send me back into the future where my brother is.”

“A spell? That’s not possible.” She tilts her head slightly, and he ignores that feeling of familiarity again.

He doesn’t know her and getting attached to this woman is not a good idea. He is about to leave her, and he doesn’t have time to deal with this strange attraction that makes him want to flirt with her and try to make her fall for him.

“It is actually. The hard part is going to be getting the ingredients that I need.”

“What are the ingredients? I may be able to help.”

“These are not ingredients that you can just buy at the store,” Dean says skeptically. He’s trying to cover his attraction to the woman with his usual gruffness, and he hopes that she can’t see right through it.

“Just tell me,” she says with a fierceness that makes Dean’s heart race.

There is something about this woman that is causing a strange reaction in him. Her blue eyes make him feel like she can see inside his soul, see every bad thing that he has ever done. She is beautiful and looks like she could kill him at the same time. He should be weary of her, maybe even afraid, but he feels drawn to her instead. Every instinct is screaming at him, telling him that there is something off about her, but the pull is stronger.

“My blood,” he hears himself saying before he consciously makes the decision to tell her, “which is easy enough. Feather of an angel. Tears of a dragon. And a pinch of the sands of time.”

The woman’s frown deepens with each new ingredient. “I know where I can get a couple of those things, and I think I know someone who will be able to help.”

“What are you?” Dean asks. “A hunter?”

She didn’t even blink as he listed off the ingredients, and now, she is claiming that she can help. It also didn’t seem to faze her when he said that he was from the future. Who is this woman? And why is she helping him? Something is not right here.

“Not exactly,” she says slowly.

“Then, what?”

“That’s not important.”

“Look, lady, I don’t know who you are, but I am not going anywhere with you unless you tell me who the hell you are.”

Dean realizes that this does not sound as threatening as it would have if say, he had been holding a knife to the woman’s throat, but he doesn’t have any weapons on him. He’s not sure he could bring himself to hurt her even if he did.

“It does not matter who I am. Without my help, you will not be able to get back to your time.”

Dean knows she’s right, and he doesn’t have any other choices. And for some reason, he trusts her. He doesn’t know why, but he feels like he knows her. This attraction is also making it so that he doesn’t want to part from her. This is going to make leaving difficult, but he doesn’t have to deal with that right now at least.

Dean thinks about it for a moment. He has no idea where he is, but there is a strange beautiful woman standing in front of him, and she doesn’t seem to be shocked in the least bit by his sudden appearance or by the fact that he isn’t from this time. That either makes her crazy or someone Dean should stick around until he finds out what it is that she knows.

He nods in agreement. What has he got to lose at this point?

They begin to walk together as the woman leads him to who knows where. He doesn’t even know the woman’s name, yet here he is, following her blindly. He wishes that he had some sort of weapon on him so that he could defend himself if she turns out to be someone who wants to hurt him.

“So, who are you?” He asks, and she turns to frown at him.

He realizes that he could have worded that differently, but he doesn’t care. Why would some strange woman want to help him? She doesn’t even know him.

“My name is Cassandra,” she says finally. “And you are?”

“Dean Winchester.”

Dean almost asks the woman if they have met before, but he knows that that is impossible. He would definitely remember meeting someone with her dark hair and blue eyes. Also, she is probably dead in his present time, which is over a hundred years from now. She just seems so familiar. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but there is something about her.

When he looks at her, he gets this feeling that is so achingly familiar, but he doesn’t know why. He can’t remember ever feeling so drawn to someone. Except—no. Not them. That was different. They are just bonded, and that is the only reason that he ever felt that way – or thought he felt that way. This is different. It has to be.

He can’t stop staring into those mesmerizing blue eyes and wondering what she is thinking. It is like they have this unbreakable connection. He doesn’t know what it is, but he wonders if she feels it, too.

They walk in silence for a while, Dean stealing glances at her every couple of minutes. He should be paying more attention to his surroundings just in case something goes wrong or this is a trap, but all he can see are trees.

“So, how did you arrive in the past?” Cassandra asks quizzically after several minutes of silence.

“You wouldn’t believe him.”

“Just like I wouldn’t believe that you are from the future?” She asks with a look of quiet amusement.

Dean shrugs. She has a point.

“An angel sent me.”

“An angel?” She asks, frowning.

“Yes.”

She doesn’t say anything for a minute, but she also doesn’t seem surprised by the idea of angels. Once again, Dean wonders who – or what – this woman is.

“Why would an angel send you back in time?”

“I don’t know,” Dean says, sounding frustrated. “He just showed up at the bunker, saying something about a safehouse. Then, instead of going there to my brother, I ended up here.”

“So, you think it was an accident.”

Dean sighs, running a hand down his face. “Maybe. I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me what was going on.”

“It sounds like you know this angel.”

“I do. He’s one of my closest friends.”

“Friend? You are _friends_ with an _angel_?” Of all of the things that he has told her since they met, this seems to be the one thing that actually shocks her.

“Yeah,” Dean says wistfully, thinking about Cas. “We have been through a lot together.”

“But why would an angel come to earth and befriend a human? Shouldn’t they be in heaven?”

“If only. So much has happened that I don’t think heaven is a safe place for them anymore. But especially not for him.”

“You must be lying,” Cassandra says, sounding angry. “Heaven is the safest place for angels. There is no reason for an angel to not be welcomed back into heaven unless he has fallen.”

“Cas,” he says, the nickname slipping from his lips. He hadn’t even realized the similarity between her and Castiel’s names until right now. “I’m not lying. A lot has happened, and angels aren’t the friendliest of people.”

“Angels aren’t _supposed_ to be friendly. They are meant to serve heaven and follow God’s orders. They are warriors.”

“You don’t know them like I do. I have met many angels over the years, and let me tell you, they are not who you think they are.”

Cassandra glances at him, looking angry. Dean doesn’t understand why she is reacting this way. He didn’t mean to burst her bubble, but maybe she needed to hear the truth. Angels aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

“We’re here,” Cassandra says before Dean can say anything else.

Dean looks away from her and up at the house in front of them. It is a nice house for its placement in the middle of nowhere. Dean would have thought that something so far out would look run down and abandoned.

“Wait here,” she tells him as they reach the path that leads up to the front porch, and Dean is happy to oblige, seeing as he doesn’t have a weapon on him to protect himself. Distance from whoever is in the house is probably what is best for him if it turns out they are an axe-wielding murder or some kind of monster.

Dean’s eyes track the woman as she walks with long strides up to the door and knocks. Dean feels himself smiling at the back of the woman’s head. They were just arguing, so he shouldn’t feel this giddy. He should be angry. Maybe it’s a spell. Maybe this woman drugged him and dragged him out to the woods. But then, why is she helping him?

She stands there for a minute, waiting, before knocking again. When no one answers, she turns around and walks back over to Dean.

“They aren’t here right now. We will have to wait for their return.”

“Or we could just go in and get the ingredients ourselves.”

The woman squints and frowns at him. “But that would be breaking and entering. And stealing.”

“Not if we don’t break anything. Plus, you can explain to them later that you needed some stuff to help a friend.”

“Friend?”

“Er, not friend I suppose. I just meant…that…you know. We—.” Dean is stumbling over his words, and he isn’t sure why he feels nervous.

“We aren’t friends,” Cassandra says firmly. “I barely know you.”

“Right,” Dean says, his heart sinking. This woman hates him, and he feels like he is falling head over heels for her. This is awesome. “Let’s just go get the stuff that way I can get back to my time.”

“You sound upset,” she says frankly. “Did I say something to upset you?”

“No. It–it’s nothing.”

She frowns but doesn’t say anything, so Dean steps around her and makes his way to the front door. He doesn’t have anything to pick the lock with, and he might have lied about not breaking anything. He might have to in order to get inside. Then, he decides to just try the door knob.

Turning it slowly, he glances back at Cassandra. She doesn’t seem happy about what they are doing, but at least she isn’t trying to stop him. Dean has to get back, and he doesn’t want to have to fight her to do it.

The door knob turns all the way, and Dean sighs a breath of relief. He’s glad that people who live out in the middle of the woods seem to believe that no one will try to get into their house while they are gone. At least, he hopes that why the door is unlocked and not that they are somewhere nearby, about to return home.

Dean pushes the door open, then lets Cassandra enter before him. She takes a few steps inside before pausing to look around.

“Downstairs,” she says. “The stuff you need is probably in the basement.”

Dean follows her to a door, which is also unlocked. This is beginning to feel more and more like a trap.

“Hold on,” Dean says. He walks into the kitchen and searches through the mostly empty cabinets and drawers in search of anything that can be used as a weapon, but he comes up empty. This place seems mostly abandoned, so how is it that someone lives here? Is the strange woman leading him into a trap, planning to lock him in the basement?

He really shouldn’t have trusted her, but he doesn’t have a choice now. He will just have to wait and see how this all plays out.

“Ready?” Cassandra asks once he returns to her side.

“You first,” he tells her, that way she is in front of him, and he won’t be completely caught off guard if she decides to attack him.

She flips a switch at the top of the stairs and a bare lightbulb flickers to life down below them, barely giving off any light. Dean follows her slowly down the creaking, decaying steps into what he hopes isn’t some torture chamber. In the dim light, Dean glances around the room and sees that there doesn’t seem to be anything visibly dangerous down there. He looks around at the shelves with jars of various, strange items. If Cassandra was telling the truth, the ingredients that Dean needs are definitely down here somewhere.

Everything is a mess, though. The jars are labeled, but they don’t seem to be organized in any way that Dean can decipher. They begin looking through the jars, beginning at opposite sides of the room, and he Cas talk quietly as they search through them for what they need. He talks to her about the spell and admits that he has never used it himself. Neither of them asks the other any personal questions, knowing it is pointless, even though Dean wants to know more about her. He wants to know everything about her, but at the same time, it feels like they have known each other for a long time. He doesn’t mention this to her because he knows that it is weird to feel this way about some way he just met, so they continue to search in silence.

“Aha!” Dean shouts suddenly. “Angel feathers,” he says, holding up the jar of white feathers to show Cas.

She in turn holds up the jar that she has just picked up. “Sands of time. Now all we need are tears of a dragon.”

“Awesome. You keep looking,” he tells her. “I’m going to go upstairs and get a bowl to mix them in. I’ll be right back.”

He walks back up the stairs to the main floor of the house, the jar still in his hand. He has only taken a few steps toward the kitchen where he remembers seeing a pan or something that could be used when he is stopped in his tracks by a rustling sound behind him.

“That doesn’t belong to you,” a deep voice says.

Dean turns slowly and makes eye contact with a man, shorter than him, dressed in a brown suit and a brown hat. What is it with people of this time and hats? He wonders to himself.

“Who are you?” Dean asks.

“I should be asking you that,” the man says. “You shouldn’t be here, and that—” he points at the jar in Dean’s hand “—doesn’t belong to you.”

Dean glances down at the jar with the feathers in it and back up at the man in front of him. “I don’t think it belongs to you either.”

The man stretches out a hand, and Dean is sent flying backward until he slams into a wall. The jar falls from his hand and shatters on the ground.

“Ishim, don’t,” Cassandra says, and Dean strains to turn to look at her, Ishim’s power still holding him against the wall.

She appears to have just exited the basement, and she is carrying several jars in her arms. She must have found the rest of the ingredients and come upstairs when Dean didn’t return.

“What are you doing here?” The man – Ishim – asks her.

“I’m helping him,” she says, nodding in Dean’s direction.

“You’re helping a human? Why?” So, Dean was right. There was something off about Cassandra. She isn’t human, and apparently neither is Ishim.

“Because he needed my help, and is it not our job to aid the humans?”

“It is our job to follow orders, and yours were to return to heaven.”

“I was about to when he showed up, needing my help, which I gladly offered. We just needed a few things, and you weren’t here.”

“So, you’re stealing from me?”

“You and I both know that you stole these in the first place, so don’t act all high and mighty about it.”

Dean struggles against the invisible force holding him against the wall, but it is no use. He is stuck here until Ishim lets him go. His eyes flicker between the two people – or whatever they are – who are arguing in front of him, and this is how he ends up watching as angel blade glides down into Ishim’s hand.

“Cas, watch out!” He shouts, more worried about the woman’s safety than he is about the fact that he has once again gotten himself into trouble with angels. This must mean that Cassandra is an angel, too, but he doesn’t have time to worry about that.

As Ishim stalks towards Cassandra, angel blade in hand, his hold on Dean falters. Dean rushes toward him, ignoring the fact that he doesn’t have a weapon. All he can think about it protecting this woman that he barely knows.

Dean catches the angel off guard enough that he is able to knock him to the ground and send the blade flying out of his hand. The two struggle on the ground, both landing a few good punches, fighting to get the upper hand until Cassandra calls out to them.

“Stop,” she says in a loud voice without actually yelling at them. It does the trick as they both freeze, and Dean is able to push Ishim off of him. “Stop fighting,” she repeats.

Dean looks up and finds Cas standing over both of them with Ishim’s dropped blade in her hand, having abandoned the jars on the floor somewhere.

“Why are you protecting him?” Ishim growls.

“I’m not. I’m protecting you.” She pauses, and Ishim just blinks up at her. “If you kill this human, how do you think the other angels will react?”

“He attacked me first.”

“Do you even hear yourself? You sound like a human child, Ishim. Perhaps you have been on earth for too long. You should return to heaven.”

“And what about you?” He asks. “You had an order.”

“And I will follow it once I finish helping this human.”

Ishim looks like he wants to protest for a moment, but even though he is Cas’ superior, he seems afraid of her for a moment. Then, with a flutter of wings he’s gone.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says with a sigh of relief.

“Come on,” she says, holding out the hand that isn’t holding the angel blade. “Let’s get you home.”

Dean dusts himself off and helps Cas gather up the ingredients again. He carefully picks the angel feathers out of the glass from the fallen jar. When he stands back up, Cassandra is standing right in front of him, leaving little space between them. Dean runs his tongue across his bottom lip, his eyes dropping to her mouth.

He remembers how he has to remind Castiel about personal space and wonders if this is a common problem for angels or if it is just a problem with him. He wonders if this is why she seems so familiar, because she is an angel. Maybe that’s why she reminds him of Castiel and the way he thought he felt about him.

Dean clears his throat and turns away from her. He can’t think about that right now. He can’t think about that ever. If he lets himself remember those feelings for his best friend that he has kept buried for so many years, it will be hard to force them back down again. He isn’t even sure if the way he feels about Castiel is attraction. He thought it was, but then Cas told him about their “profound bond,” and he figured that that was the only reason he thought that he had actual feelings for the angel.

So, he pretended like he never felt that way or thought that he did. He went on with his life, sleeping with random women and caring too much about Castiel for it to just be platonic. He wanted to talk to someone about it, but he was afraid of what Sam would think. Then, so much time passed that he didn’t know how to stop pretending. It was easier to just go on ignoring it, and that’s what he did. For years. And he will continue to do so.

Dean makes his way into the kitchen and grabs the pan from the countertop. He returns to where Cassandra is standing. She has moved into the living room and placed all of the ingredients on a low coffee table. He sets the pot down and starts adding the ingredients. He picks up the angel blade that Cas also set on the table and uses it to slice open the palm of his hand so that his blood drips down into the pot with the other contents. Then, seeing no other choice, he uses the blade to mix the ingredients together before setting it back down.

Cassandra doesn’t say anything while he does this. She just watches silently, without even the slightest reaction when Dean cuts himself. She really is an angel. Seemingly emotionless and only following orders. Dean curses himself silently for falling for her because he has, not knowing that she was an angel and that there was no way she would ever be able to reciprocate.

Dean picks up the pot and carries it over to the wall where he draws the sigil with the mixed ingredients. When he is done, he sets the pot on the floor and turns to face Cassandra.

Dean doesn’t want to leave her, but he has to. He has to get back to make sure that his brother is okay. And Cas. Something was up with him, and he needs to figure out what it is. Cas rarely asks for his help. He’s stubborn that way. But Dean always knows when it is needed.

“Cassandra,” he says quietly, but he doesn’t know what to say after that.

It is usually so easy with women for him. He would sleep with them and then just disappear into the night. But it is different with this woman. For starters, he hasn’t slept with her. Also, she isn’t human. She’s an angel.

How can he tell her that he doesn’t want to leave but that he has to? Would she care? According to her, she was only doing her duty as an angel and helping him when he asked for her help. He’s tired of thinking about it, though. He is almost certain that he sees a flicker in her eyes, like maybe she does feel the same. He might be wrong, but he can’t leave without knowing the truth.

In his usual dramatic flair, he pulls her into his arms, dips her down, and kisses her. At first, she freezes under his touch, and he thinks that he has made a huge mistake. Now, she will attack him, just as Ishim did. He is just about to pull away when he feels her return the kiss. She pushes her lips against his, wrapping her arms around his neck.

The kiss only lasts a few more seconds before Dean reluctantly pulls away, pulling her back up and letting her go.

“What—. What was that for?” She asks, tugging at her dress.

“I’m going to miss you,” Dean admits even though that isn’t what he had planned on saying.

“I—. There is something that I want you to know before you go.”

“What is it?”

“I’m an angel of the Lord, and my name isn’t Cassandra. It’s Castiel.”

No. It couldn’t be. That’s impossible. This woman can’t be Cas. Not because she’s a woman, but because Dean _knows_ Cas. And there is no way that Cas has had this memory for all of these years and hasn’t let on.

How could Cas know about this and not tell Dean? Unless…unless Cas didn’t want Dean to know because Cas doesn’t feel that way about Dean. Of course, that’s what it means.

Dean looks at the woman standing in front of him. Her dark hair and startlingly blue eyes look exactly like Castiel’s. How could Dean not have seen it before?

“Did you know?” Dean asks hoarsely. He clears his throat and tries again. “Did you know that it was you who sent me back to this time?”

“No,” Castiel says firmly. “You only said it was angel. You never said the angel’s name. Are you saying that I am still down on earth with humans in a hundred years?”

“You go back to heaven, but then—.”

“No,” she says, cutting him off. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know anything about the future.” She places her hand on Dean’s arm.

“What are you doing, Cas?”

Cas kisses him, quickly, and Dean can feel her power rushing through him, healing his wounds from the fight.

“I’m sending you back.” Her eyes fall shut, and she recites the spell. “ _Kah-nee-lah puh-goh. Kah-nee-lah_.” Then, she pushes him toward the wall as the sigil starts to glow.

“Cas, wait,” Dean shouts, but it’s too late. He is being sucked back through time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me quite a bit longer to finish than I had originally anticipated, and I'm sorry about that. I do hope you all like it, though.

Cas appears in front of Sam at the safe house, and Sam is in his face almost instantly. He looks worried for a moment before an expression of anger takes over his face.

“What the hell was that, Cas?” He asks when he sees the angel. Then, after looking around, “where’s Dean?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asks, squinting at him, then glancing at the room, too. “He should be here with us. My hand was on his arm when I left the bunker.”

“Then, where is he?”

Cas glances around again as if Dean might just be standing in the corner, hiding. “I-I don’t know. He should be here.”

“Well, he’s not.”

“I can see that,” Cas says gruffly. “I don’t understand what happened.”

“Why were you trying to bring us here anyway?”

“To keep you safe.”

“What a grand idea that was. Now, Dean is missing.”

Cas frowns at him. Sam has every right to angry with him, but that isn’t helping anything. He thinks for a moment about what could have happened, and after a moment, it hits him. He knows what happened.

“I’ll go look for him,” he tells Sam.

“I’m coming with.”

“No,” Cas says firmly.

“And why not?”

“Because there is something after me. That’s why I brought you here, and that’s why I tried to bring Dean here, too.”

“Why is some monster coming after you?”

“It’s after Dean, too,” Cas says as if that explains anything.

“Okay. Why is it after Dean?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“He’s my brother,” Sam says, taking a step forward in what would be an intimidating move if Cas didn’t know him better. “Of course, it matters.”

“I’ll bring your brother back. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“But I am worried because you don’t have any idea where he is.”

“I do have one idea actually,” Cas admits. He’s almost certain that he knows what happened to Dean.

“What is it?”

“I think that I may have accidentally sent him back to the year 1901.”

Cas was thinking about the past when he tried to bring Dean here with him. He must have sent him away instead. He has to go get him before anything bad happens to either one of them.

“You think that you what?”

Cas tilts his head and looks at Sam like he has just asked a really stupid question. “I’m almost positive that he is in the year 1901.”

“Why would you send him there?”

“I didn’t mean to. You stay here, and I will go retrieve him.”

“I thought you said that something was after you and Dean. Wouldn’t you just be leading the monster right to him?”

“No. Maybe. It’s an angel, and he most likely wouldn’t follow me to the past. He’ll probably just wait for our return.”

There is a flap of wings behind Cas, and he turns to find the angel in question standing there, blade in hand, ready for a fight. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Ishim,” Cas growls.

“Castiel. Was this your plan? Run away from me and hide the Winchesters? And then what?” He inches closer to Cas as he speaks, raising the blade to point at the middle of his chest. He grins wickedly, knowing he has the upper hand in this moment.

Sam watches the exchange for a moment before deciding to charge the angel even though he does not have any weapons on him at the moment. Cas didn’t exactly give him a chance to grab anything before whisking him off to who knows where, to a house that was supposedly safe. Seeing as they’re now being threatened, it doesn’t seem to be as safe as Cas was saying it was.

“Sam, don’t,” Cas shouts at him, but it’s too late.

Ishim hits him with a wave of his power, and Sam is sent flying into a wall. He falls to the floor and doesn’t stir.

Cas glances at him, worried. Dean will have to find a way back on his own. Hopefully, everything plays out the way Cas remembers, and everything will be fine for him because Cas can’t help him now. He’s got to protect his brother and try to make it out of this fight alive.

Cas takes a step forward, but Ishim moves faster to stand above Sam.

“Come any closer, and I will kill the ape.” Cas freezes. “Oh, how far you’ve fallen, Castiel. The angel I knew wouldn’t give up.”

“What do you want?” Cas grits out.

 “You know what I want, Castiel. Don’t play stupid.”

“He isn’t here.”

“Then, where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Cas lies.

Ishim, angry, squats down and pulls Sam’s limp head up by a fistful of his hair. He presses his blade against Sam’s throat and says, “tell me where he is, Castiel.”

“If you hurt him—.”

“You used to be a soldier, Castiel,” Ishim says angrily, cutting him off. “Now, look at you. Slumming it down here with some human, more worried about his safety than your own.”

“He is not just ‘some human.’”

“Right, I forgot. He’s a Winchester,” he spits out, “and not even the good one. Where is the other one, huh? He’s the one I’m really looking for, and I will find him, with or without your help.”

“He’s not here.”

“I can see that, Castiel. I will find him though, and then I’ll make you watch as I kill him. But first, you will watch me kill this one.”

“Just kill me, Ishim. Leave the Winchesters alone. They’ve done nothing wrong.”

“That’s not technically true, is it? Plus, I don’t want to kill you. I just want to cut out your weakness.”

“Dean is not my weakness.”

“Dean. That’s right. That’s the monkey’s name. Then, tell me, Castiel. Why did you rebel? Why did you turn on your brothers?”

“I rebelled because what the other angels were doing was wrong. They wanted to start the apocalypse.”

“From what I heard, it was the Winchesters who did that.”

“And who do you think led them down that path?”

“I honestly don’t care, Castiel. I just want to kill the older Winchester and be on my way.”

“Ishim, why are you doing this?”

“So that you will return to heaven and make things right. So long as Dean is on earth, you will not leave.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I saw you. I saw the both of you. That day when you told me go back to heaven, I saw you kiss him.”

Cas freezes. He didn’t know that. He had thought Ishim had gone back to heaven. He hadn’t mentioned the human that they met that day, so why did he wait so long to bring it up?

“Castiel, humanity was your weakness from the moment you touched down on this earth. Your place is in heaven. You need to return so that you can be the soldier you were meant to be.”

“Why now? Why did you wait so long to come after him?”

“I thought that all would be well. He was gone, and you had returned to heaven. The problem was gone. Or so I thought. Then, he came back. Like a cockroach, he couldn’t be killed. No matter how many people went after him. I watched as he died over and over again, but he just wouldn’t stay dead, would he?”

“Are you saying that you had a hand in that?”

“No. Although, I wish I had. Then, you raised him from hell, and I knew I had to kill him before he once again threatened to ruin you. But I couldn’t kill him because the angels said that they needed him for something. He was the one who was supposed to defeat Lucifer. He had to play his role and all that. Now that the angels don’t need him anymore, he is fair game. Do you know what the real kicker is, though, Castiel?” He pauses, hand still steady on the blade against Sam’s throat, waiting for Cas to respond.

“What, Ishim?”

“He has no idea. He hasn’t lived that day yet, has he? I suspect if he had, you would look a bit happier, and he would be by your side. But no. I’m going to get to kill him before he ever lives through that. It will add to your suffering, knowing that you have a memory of a kiss that never really happened for him.”

“Why are you doing this?” Cas tries to sound fierce, but he can feel that he is losing this argument. It feels like he is about to lose everything.

“Because you are a warrior of god, yet you are willing to sacrifice yourself for one insignificant human. That is not right, Castiel.”

“He is not insignificant,” Cas says harshly. He pauses, then, “what if I returned to heaven? What if I promised to stay there? Would you leave him alone?”

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

“I want him to be safe.”

“That’s why I have to kill him, Castiel. Even if you did return to heaven for the rest of eternity, you would have the knowledge of the Winchester boy being alive and safe down on earth. You will never truly be loyal to heaven until he is gone. That is why I must eliminate him.”

“Good luck finding him.”

“Oh, I don’t need luck. He’ll show eventually. He always does. And I will be there to strike him down. You can’t watch him every second of the day, Castiel. Especially if he doesn’t know.” He pauses for a moment. “And you know what? I’ll let this one live for now. I want to see if he will turn on you in order to save his brother. Then, maybe you’ll see that none of these humans care about you. They’re only using you.”

There is a flap of wings as Ishim leaves, but the sound of his laugh echoes inside Cas’ head. He turns away from the spot where Ishim disappeared and looks down to where Sam is slouched against the wall, unconscious. Cas crouches down beside him and places two fingers on his forehead, scanning him for any physical injuries. He seems to be fine, and Cas sighs in relief. Dean would never forgive him if he let anything happen to his baby brother. Sam starts to come to, and Cas stands up and backs away, giving him some space.

“Cas, who was that?” Sam asks groggily, slowly sliding up the wall to a standing position.

“An angel who I once knew.”

“What does he want?”

“Dean.”

“What for?”

Cas hesitates. He can’t tell Sam the truth.

“Cas, what have you gotten us into? What have you gotten _yourself_ into?”

“It will be fine. I have to go, but I need you to stay here where it’s safe.”

“What about Dean? Weren’t you going to go get him?”

“That will have to wait, or he will have to find a way back on his own. If I don’t go deal with this angel now, he will kill Dean as soon as he returns to this time. So, just wait here. I will come back for you.”

“Nuh-uh,” Sam says shaking his head. “I can’t let you go off by yourself. Also, if it was safe here, that angel wouldn’t have been able to get in.”

“He won’t be able to get in again if you put up the angels warding when I’m gone.”

“I’m not letting you go off by yourself.” When Dean shows up, he won’t be happy if he finds out that Cas went off on his own to fight an angel, and Sam just let him go.

“Who are you to stop me?” Cas says fiercely. He doesn’t usually talk to Sam this way anymore, but tensions are running high. He has to kill Ishim before Dean returns. He will do anything necessary to keep him safe.

“Come on, Cas.

“I could knock you unconscious and lock you in here.”

“What would Dean think if he found me like that? I don’t think that he would be very happy to find that you locked up his brother.”

“He would understand that I was doing it for your protection.”

“Don’t do this, Cas. Let me help you.”

They’re wasting time. Cas needs to go now

“Fine, but if you get in my way, I _will_ leave you behind.”

“Deal. Now, where are we headed?”

“He hasn’t warded himself against me. It is like he wants me to find him.” Cas pauses and closes his eyes, focusing on Ishim’s whereabouts. “He seems to be near the bunker,” Cas says with finality.

“Why?”

“I think that he may be looking for your brother.”

“What does he want with my brother?

“What does anyone ever want with your brother?”

“Right,” Sam says, and Castiel knows that he understands. Nothing good ever comes from someone trying to track down Dean Winchester.

With very little warning, Cas grabs Sam’s arm and teleports them to just outside of the bunker.

“He’s here. Or he was. But I can no longer sense him.” Cas glances around, wondering where he would might have disappeared to.

“Where do you think he would have gone?”

“Inside,” Cas says, eyeing the door to the bunker.

“Great. Now, there is an angel loose in the bunker. Just what we need.” Cas glares at Sam. “No offense, Cas.”

Cas turns away from him, ignoring his words, and steps slowly into the bunker, angel blade at the ready. They find Ishim sitting at the war table, his feet propped up on the table, twirling the blade in his hands.

“Nice of you to join me, Castiel.”

“We should have finished this at the safe house. Why did you leave?”

“I told you,” he says, sliding his feet back to the ground. “I’m waiting for, Dean.”

“I won’t let you kill him,” Sam says. He doesn’t try to move toward him this time.

Ishim smirks and stands, knowing that he has the upper hand here. Cas hasn’t been able to get the jump on him on either of their last two meetings today. It’s been like a game of cat and mouse. He stalks toward Cas and stops less than a foot away.

“You and I both know you won’t kill me, Castiel. You’re too _weak_.” He spits out the last word, like Cas disgusts him.

“I don’t want to kill you, Ishim, but I will.”

“Then, do it.”

Cas raises the hand that’s holding his own blade, and his hand shakes slightly. He doesn’t want to kill the angel who was once his superior. He has never wanted to kill any angel, but he has to. He always does. In order to save Dean, Ishim must die.

“Leave him alone,” Sam says, stepping forward.

“This again?” Ishim asks, sounding bored. Sam is once again sent flying, but this time he doesn’t fall unconscious. He struggles to stand as Ishim turns his attention back to Castiel. “What will you do, Castiel? You can’t kill me.”

Castiel swings his hand down, aiming for the other angel’s chest. Ishim blocks him, landing a blow on Cas’ side. Cas grunts but holds his ground. He slashes with the blade and manages to slice open the sleeve of Ishim’s shirt, just barely grazing his arm. It barely phases him, though, as he punches Cas in the face. Cas swings out again with the blade but misses. Ishim lands several blows, but Cas manages to knock the blade from his hand before he can use it in any deadly way.

They’re both breathing hard as they punch and dodge and block. Cas swings out with the blade but is blocked every time. Finally, Ishim grabs ahold of Cas’ wrist, the blade mere inches from his chest, effectively stopping Cas from swinging it around anymore. He twists Cas’ arm back, and Cas grits his teeth in pain.

“You cannot defeat me, Castiel. I am the one who helped train you. I know your every move.”

“But you don’t know mine,” a voice says.

Then, Ishim’s eyes shine blue before flickering and going out. Sam is left standing beside him, angel blade in hand, as Ishim’s body slumps to the ground.

Cas stares at the angels fallen vessel, devoid of any life. This shouldn’t have happened. If he had been the angel – the warrior of god – that he was meant to be, none of this would have ever happened.

“You alright?” Sam asks him.

“He was once my superior,” Cas says quietly, mournfully.

“He was going to kill you, Cas.”

“I know, but there are so few angels left…” Cas drifts off for a moment, know that that is also his fault. “I just wish that there had been another way, but he refused to listen.”

Cas looks crestfallen, and Sam is helpless to make him feel better. Sam doesn’t blame Cas for what has happened over the years, but it doesn’t matter. Cas has taken all of the burden of that blame upon his shoulders, and he refuses to forgive himself. If Cas were human, Sam isn’t sure that he would have survived that pressure. He most likely would have crumbled and broken under it. As it is, Sam is pretty sure that Cas is just barely holding it together. He needs something to put him back together again.

“Cas.” It isn’t Sam who speaks, though. The voice is deeper, heavy with some unnamable emotion.

Cas spins on his heel, his trench coat flapping around him, and he looks up to see Dean descending the stairs from the entrance of the bunker.

Cas fights the urge to run to him, to scan his body for any injuries, to question him about what happened, to find out whether Dean knows now.

Dean’s eyes land on Cas in his familiar trench coat, and his eyes burn with hurt and desire. Desire for this angel. The angel who he has hidden his feelings from for so long because he didn’t understand them. He was afraid of what they meant. Afraid of how his brother would react if he knew the truth. He pushed them away thinking – no, hoping – that their profound bond was the only thing that was causing them, not that he truly felt that way.

Cas’ eyes widen as Dean reaches the bottom of the staircase and moves closer, but Dean looks away, the hurt winning over the desire. Cas knew. Every damn minute of every day, he knew but chose not to do or say anything.

“Dean, you’re alright,” Cas says, moving toward him.

“Don’t,” Dean says sternly, stopping Cas in his tracks.

“Where were you?” Sam asks. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but why don’t you ask Cas where I was?”

“What are you talking about?” Sam asks. Dean doesn’t answer, so he looks at Cas.

“He was supposed to go to the safehouse.”

“But that isn’t where you sent me, is it?” Dean says harshly.

Cas tilts his head, furrowing his brows and frowning quizzically. He doesn’t understand why Dean is so angry. Shouldn’t he understand everything now? Doesn’t he know how Cas feels about him?

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Cas asks quietly.

“You knew that I kissed you.”

“You what?” Sam asks, but Dean ignores him.

“You knew what would happen. You knew that I would fall for you. You knew that I would fall for you and that you wouldn’t feel the same way. Why did you stay? Why did you bother with us in the first place?” Dean pauses for a moment, then asks, “was your plan to hurt me?”

Cas is speechless for a moment. Dean _actually_ believes that Cas doesn’t feel the same way.

“Whatever,” Dean says when Cas doesn’t respond. Then, he turns and starts to walk away from him.

There’s the sound of flapping wings, and suddenly, Cas in standing in front of Dean.

“Move,” Dean says harshly.

“You’ve got it all wrong.”

“What have I got wrong?”

“I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t. I had to wait until you lived through that moment.”

“Why?”

“Would you have believed me?” Cas asks, his voice growing darker. “If I came to you and told you that one day you would go back in time and kiss me, would you have believed me?”

Dean thinks about it for a moment. Of course, he wouldn’t have, but he isn’t going to admit that. He’s angry at Cas for keeping this from him. He’s angry at himself for denying his feelings. If he had confessed them sooner, would they have been able to be together for all of this time? He can’t wonder about what could have been, though. It’s useless. He has to focus on right now. And right now, he still wants answers.

“If you knew how I have always felt about you for all of these years, why didn’t you say something before?”

“Wait, I didn’t know that. I didn’t think that you would feel the same until you saw me in that female vessel. Do you have any idea how that feels? Knowing that you wouldn’t love me in this form? That you couldn’t love me like this because you couldn’t see past the way that I look? That you couldn’t see me as me? Only as this vessel that I inhabit?”

Dean stares at him in shock. He wants to yell at him, to tell him that none of that is true. That he was afraid. Afraid of his feelings, yes, but also that Cas could never love him because he is an angel of the lord, and Dean is only a human.

Sam feels like he should leave, but he doesn’t want to disturb the pair. Plus, he wants to see how it all plays out. He does take a few steps back, though, giving the pair some space.

Dean takes a breath and in a deadly calm voice, he says, “then, why did you stay?”

“Because I love you,” Cas says, heartbreakingly sad and open. “I have loved you since the day we met, but you didn’t. You held me at arm’s length, and it hurt.”

“I-I didn’t know.”

“And now that you do?”

“I have another question.”

“What is it Dean?” Cas sighs, sighing, barely containing his annoyance.

 “You could have just sent me back here yourself instead of helping me with the spell. Why didn’t you?”

“For the same reason that I didn’t tell you my real name at first or that I was angel. I was supposed to be in heaven, not on earth gallivanting with some human.” Cas lied about his name when they met because he had been warned about revealing who he was to humans, so he chose a more mundane sounding name. It didn’t really matter since he ended up telling him his real name anyway.

“‘Some human,’” Dean repeats. “That’s nice.”

“Dean,” Cas growls.

“What?”

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“Why did you lie for so many years?” Dean bites.

“I just told you why. You didn’t feel the same, and I feared how you would react if I tried to push you.”

“I did feel the same, though,” Dean says quietly. “I just didn’t know how to say that. I thought it was just some bond like you said and that you would never – could never – feel the same.”

“Damn it,” Cas growls. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for more than a century.”

Dean’s eyes widen as Cas admits for the second time that he is in love with him. It’s near impossible to believe. Why would an angel love him, a broken human?

Cas steps closer and stares into his eyes, and Dean can’t bring himself to look away from his powerful gaze. He doesn’t want to. He wants to stay like this forever, gazing into those brilliantly blue eyes that hold the secrets of the universe.

This is just like so many other times that they stood exactly like this. It’s different, too, though. There’s a different feeling in the air. Almost like they aren’t holding back quite as much as they used to.

Sam finally slips from the room, unnoticed. He can find out how things turn out later. This isn’t something he’s meant to be privy to right now.

_It all makes sense now_ , Dean thinks.

Memories play like a movie through Dean’s head. The warring memories of love and anger and betrayal and forgiveness. Every moment, every staring contest, every touch. A few moments stand out to him, though.

Meeting Cas in that warehouse and the way that his heart raced, not with fear but with intrigue. The shock and wonder at how he was completely unphased even as Dean stabbed and shot him, not even blinking. It still amazes Dean that Cas didn’t smite him right there, just to show off his power.

Then, there’s the betrayal he felt when he found out that Cas was working with Crowley. It hurt knowing that he had lied and that he couldn’t even trust him. But not as much as it hurt him when he thought Cas died in that lake. He kept the trench coat in the hopes of holding onto him, a reminder of the angel he had loved and lost.

Then, Cas came back, only for Dean to lose him again in Purgatory. Oh, the way that his heart shattered when he thought Cas was gone forever in and how he thought he was hallucinating seeing him after that. Nothing was as good as the relief he felt when Cas returned. Nothing can compare to that feeling of seeing the man that he loves after believing that he had failed him, that it was his fault that Cas would never return.

Smaller things stand out, too. The jealousy he felt when he found out about the reaper, April, wishing that he could share that closeness with Cas. It was made worse by the fact that April then killed him, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Dean had betrayed his brother, Cas might not be alive today.

So many horrible events have led to this moment, this one precious moment. Dean reaches out his hand and brushes his fingers against Cas’. He leaves his hand there, a step in the direction of reconciling with his beautiful angel, never breaking eye contact.

While Dean plays all of those memories and more through his head, Cas is remembering other moments that brought them together, every piece that had to fall into place in order for them to get to this moment, every choice that he had to make in order for this all to happen. Castiel spent more than a century in love with a human who he thought that he would never see again. Then, his second chance came in the form of the apocalypse, and he never could have imagined that they would actually end up where they are now.

Cas returned to heaven not long after that day in 1901, and he almost forgot about the human, Dean Winchester. He never thought that he would see him again. After all, the angels were meant to stay in heaven, not interfere with the lives of humans.

He went back to following orders and not thinking about the human he thought he felt something for. If any of the other angels ever found out that Castiel was feeling human emotions, they would smite him down without a second thought. Showing emotion was a weakness and was not supposed to be possible for an angel. So, why was it different with this human? Why couldn’t he get him out of his mind? Even when Naomi erased his memories, she never managed to erase his memory of the day that he first met Dean Winchester.

It would be a long time before he returned to earth, and when he did, it would be to save the boy, the one who was trapped in hell.

When Castiel learned that someone had to go and raise Dean Winchester from perdition, he volunteered. He needed to see him again, even if it meant that it was unlikely that Dean would recognize him. It had been so long, and he was eager to see the human that he had fallen for all those years ago again. He just needed one glimpse. That’s all it was supposed to be. He wasn’t supposed to stick around for long. Little did he know, he would fall for this human again, harder this time. Only it would be literally this time, not figuratively.

That day in the warehouse, Cas had hoped that Dean would remember him. Obviously, he didn’t look the same, but he was still himself. He hoped, futilely, that Dean would see him and _know_.

Then, Cas realized that the man that he met in 1901 was much different from the man that he met in 2008.

After talking with Dean, he knew that this wasn’t the Dean that he had met because he had not yet been sent back in time. Cas considered sending him back just to make it happen, but it wouldn’t be the same. Dean wouldn’t be the same person that Cas met. Things wouldn’t play out the same way. Dean still had a lot to get through before he could get to the place where he was when Cas met him.

So, he spent years watching this man. He saw him take the mark of Cain and change into a demon and selflessly sacrifice himself for others on numerous occasions. Cas had to save him every time in order to make sure that he went back in time so that they could meet. He selfishly cared for this human and others, in the hopes of being able to be with the man that he loved. He also had to live through the pain of not being recognized and his feelings not being reciprocated.

It’s why he had to stay away from Dean for so long. He couldn’t continue to always be around the man that he loved and know that he didn’t feel the same way. It hurt him every time that they stood there with prolonged eye contact and too close together. Every time that Dean licked his lips and seemed to stare at Cas’ lips for a moment, Cas hoped…. But no. It didn’t happen. Dean never saw him the way that Cas has always seen him.

Or that’s what he thought. He couldn’t have known that Dean had his own secret. He couldn’t have known that Dean was hiding a secret similar to his own. Cas has always been good at reading people and their feelings, but it turns out that his judgement was clouded when it came to Dean. Otherwise, he would have known. Things might have been different, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they are together, right here, right now.

When Dean brushes his hand against Cas’, Cas intertwines their fingers, hopeful. Dean is no longer yelling or asking endless questions about why Cas didn’t tell him. The corner of Dean’s mouth quirks up, and the air between them changes.

They both move forward, and their lips meet. Sparks fly behind Dean’s eyelids, much like they did when he first met Cas in that warehouse. His hands are on Cas’ hips, holding him close. He never plans to let him go. He finally has Cas exactly where he wants him, and nothing will tear them apart. No matter where they are in time, they will find each other. Cas and Dean will be together forever. Nothing can tear them apart now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to talk about this fic or anything else at all, you can find me on Tumblr!
> 
> My main blog: angelsfalling16  
> My Supernatural blog: cas-fell-for-dean


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